i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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