if you like me you must not know who I am
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
