I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
