I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
