ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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