If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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