I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize