found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
