wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
