I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
