love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
