It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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