Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
