Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
