Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
