Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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