I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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