so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
