You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
