Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm both gender and math confused
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize