I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
