i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
