So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
