I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
