After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
