It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize