I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
