For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
