all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
