elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
