his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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