Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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