btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
