I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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