And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
