i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Say something about gay babies.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize
