Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So many bounce houses so little time
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will pee on everything he values.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
