And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize