he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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