The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
