...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
