I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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