he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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