Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
