Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
