If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
