The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
