Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
