and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Dick very happy bro
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
