i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Bring me that man meat
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
