Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
