Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
