are you still at the devil's house?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
