Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize