he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
