If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize