Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize