i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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