Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
