sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She bit a glass in half.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize