HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
