I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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