You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
