Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
