I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
