They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
