Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize