am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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