dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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