This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
