I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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