loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
